In the ether.
Where my head is.
Bad Poetry Night: inspired by Roy.
Embarassing moment of the day.
Santa take note.
Angst & Graphite.
Please pass the Neosporin.
Friday, April 28, 2006
How to banquet.
Stuff I learned last night:
If you happen to find yourself going to a big banquet type dinner, and they ask you if you want chicken or beef, tell them you're a vegetarian. Even if you have to lie.
You end up with better food and the rest of your table will eye your scrumptious dish with envy as they compare it to the lifeless livestock lying on their plates.
Also, if you get there and there's already a salad at your place setting, don't wait around to see if you're supposed to start eating it because what will happen is they will come out with the main course and whisk your salad away without even warning you and you'll never see it again - especially those cute little radishes cut to look like flowers.
Lastly, assuming you have a choice, sit close enough to the ice water pitcher so that you can refresh your glass with ease, but not so close that the whole dinner everyone's asking you to fill their glass.
Oh, and if you have to keep giving multiple standing ovations, don't forget your napkin is on your lap.
And, if you're not sitting close to an exit, try not to drink coffee or tea. They are diuretics and you can only do the pee pee dance in your chair for so long before you're forced to get up and walk out of the door in front of 200 people during some big important speech.
posted by hilary at 3:28 PM |
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